The first time I read The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz this was the agreement that had the most profound effect on me. I read it several times before it started to sink in. If nothing anyone else did was about me, what in the world was I thinking when I tried to guilt other people out or make excuses for my own issues by walking around with a ‘V’ on my forehead. The ‘V’, of course, stood for VICTIM.
I spent so much time thinking:
“If only she would do this, or, he would stop doing that, my business would be a success.”
“If only this would happen or that hadn’t happened I would have won that bid.”
Then there was the ominous “they”.
“They” stood in the way of my success.
“They” could afford to undercut my bid or put more people on any job.
After internalizing this, I realized I was wasting the energy I needed to be successful by worrying about the effect other people were having on my business rather than focusing on what I needed to do to make my business successful.
Understanding that nothing anyone else does is about you, allows you to own your own power and get on with it.